It's just manual, sadly. And I've thusfar not touched it
*** Monster 'The Blaze Bat' has monsterId = 2211 and image 'firebossbat.gif'
*** Monster 'The fired-up Knob Goblin King' has monsterId = 2212 and image 'firegoblinking.gif'Welcome, Adventurer. You have arrived at a time of great need. There's a fire extinguisher next you to on the wall there, could you grab that and give my desk a little spritz? Here on the corner, where it's on fire. Good, thank you. That wasn't the great need I mentioned before, but I appreciate it. I don't know if you've noticed, but basically everything is on fire for some reason? We're not sure if it's a climate thing, or an unusually large-scale feat of arson, or... aliens? I dunno, did we forget to pay the no fire bill? God, I'm rambling -- it's so hot in here, I can't even think. Listen, go see if the Toot Oriole has a letter for you or anything, while I drink a bunch of water and put my head in the fridge for a minute. Assuming the Toot is still there, considering he lives in a little pile of dry twigs. No, leave the fire extinguisher here, I might need it.Ah you're back, good. I've got a little mission for you -- our science guys want to check on how the local wetlands fauna are dealing with this whole fire business. I told them, probably not great? It probably isn't fun for them? But that wasn't a scientific enough answer, I guess. So they told me to tell you to go find a mosquito larva or something of that nature. Here, I'll mark the place on your map, although you could probably just follow the smell of burning swamp.Hzezlzlzoz, Azdzvzeznztzuzrzezrz. Wzez-- what? Oh, you'd rather I didn't speak directly into this electric fan? Well, bring me a mosquito larva. Until then, tzozuzgzhz nzozozgzizezsz.You actually found a mosquito larva? Huh, I wouldn't've thought there'd be enough standing water left in the Kingdom for it to be possible for mosquitoes to breed. Great news, everybody -- everything is on fire, but don't worry, the mosquitoes are safe! Yayyyyy. Anyway, I'll have someone deliver this to our science guys. Here's some Meat for your trouble.We've received word that the owner of the Typical Tavern, in the Distant Woods, is having a bit of a rat problem. Probably also a fire problem. Probably a real bad fire problem, unless the rumors about him watering down his stock are true. Anyway, when he called us, he said something about rats, not fire, so maybe his fire problem isn't any worse than everywhere else. Or maybe his rat problem is really surprisingly bad. Go check it out, will you? I need to go put some fresh ice in my shorts.The owner of the Typical Tavern called again, he's still having some kind of rat problem. I asked him about the fire and he said it's making everyone real thirsty, so it's kind of balancing out for him? That's capitalism for you, I guess.Okay, great, you're back. I've got a proper quest for you this time -- I need you to go to the Bat Hole in the plains, and kill the Boss Bat so that I can move my office into his nice, shady underground cave. Oh, did I say that last part out loud? Ha ha, ignore that. Don't worry about that. Just do the bat thing. Oh, or if you prefer, you could stand here and wave this fan at me for a while. No? Fine, suit yourself.
Oh, hey. Did you kill the Boss Bat yet? No? Did you decide to take the job waving a fan at me, instead? Also no? Well, look, c'mon, it's one or the other.So I got a report back that you've successfully killed the Boss Bat! Nice job, great work. Unfortunately, the report also says that his cave is full of bat crap that is on fire, so that ruins my office relocation plans. Sure I can't get you to wave this fan for a bit? It's surprisingly hard to write memos while you're waving a fan with the other hand. Kind of a patting your head while rubbing your stomach sort of deal.I also have a job for you which is probably of more general importance, although clearly not as important to me personally. The local Goblins over at Cobb's Knob are having similar problems as us with this whole "everything is on fire" situation, but we can't assume they won't take this opportunity to attack us while we're distracted. They're extremely devious and sneaky little bastards, after all. So, we've decided the best course of action is to attack them first, while they're distracted.
All you need to do is sneak into Cobb's Knob, and assassinate their king. If it makes you feel better about it, there's probably a non-zero chance that he's responsible for all this fire. I mean, I wouldn't put it past him. Our spies have recovered this map to a secret entrance into the Knob, but you'll have to find an encryption key to decode it with. Better hurry, this is just regular paper. Could go up any minute.So you got into Cobb's Knob, eh? Great! Is it any cooler in there than up here? No? Well, that's unfortunate. I guess you might as well go ahead and assassinate their king anyway, though. Since you're there already anyway. I mean you aren't there right now, you're in here talking to me. But it's like, what, one or two clicks? No, I don't really know what that means. I don't know why I said that. It's just so hot in here! We ran out of ice ages ago, and they won't let me drink the stuff inside the plastic freezer blocks.Thank you for slaying the Goblin King, Adventurer. That'll teach him to go around kinging it up while the rest of us are on fire. Serves him right.<form style='margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px;' name=choiceform1 action=choice.php method=post><input type=hidden name=pwd value='xxxxxxxxxx'><input type=hidden name=whichchoice value=502><input type=hidden name=option value=1><input class=button type=submit value="Follow the old road"></form><p><form style='margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px;' name=choiceform2 action=choice.php method=post><input type=hidden name=pwd value='xxxxxxxxxx'><input type=hidden name=whichchoice value=502><input type=hidden name=option value=2><input class=button type=submit value="Explore the stream"></form><p><form style='margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px;' name=choiceform3 action=choice.php method=post><input type=hidden name=pwd value='xxxxxxxxxx'><input type=hidden name=whichchoice value=502><input type=hidden name=option value=3><input class=button type=submit value="Brave the dark thicket"></form>