Ok, I have a solution. It's a little wonky, but I think it works (I don't have a TPS, so I can't test it though). Long-story short, it considers the Meat Per Adventure for the inferior TPS drink, and assumes that you spend the rest of your drunkenness drinking the better TPS drink.
If the average MPA of the inferior TPS drink and all those superior TPS drinks is better than if just it skipped the TPS drink, and moved on to the next best item... then it will drink the inferior TPS drink.
However, it will not pick an inferior TPS drink while overdrinking (unless the inferior TPS drink is the next best drink), and it will not pick an inferior TPS drink if you can't interact with other players.
The code is ready and syntax-error-free, but I want to look at it again with a full stomach before I release it.